100 Target runs

I’m just starting to fine-tune my wedding etiquette.

When I first started attending peer weddings, I made some bad calls. I think at one point I RSVP’d for a wedding and ditched the reception. The bride sat me down afterwards and told me about proper etiquette (and how much a head costs for reception), and then I felt horrible for what an ass I must have been. Up to that point, I thought wedding receptions were always buffet style (I’d only been to budget Chinese weddings as a kid, apparently), or kind of like a birthday party (again, I’d only been to budget Chinese weddings as a kid, apparently). Haha. Along with breaking bread, wedding etiquette is going to be one of the lessons I teach my future kids, because I still can’t look that bride in the eye without turning into a puddle of angst, shame, and remorse.

In true Californian fashion, most modern weddings are beautiful. But beauty, of course, comes at a cost. After talking to close friends and family who have gotten married lately or are planning a wedding soon, a decent wedding costs as much as a really nice car, or even a down payment on a home. So naturally, it’s understandable that there are people who wouldn’t make the invite list. I’ve long since come to terms with this reality, but something I’m still trying to figure out is where friendships fall in line with wedding invitations.

I’ve heard this story a few times, as well as experienced it firsthand. There are some friends who mysteriously disappear post-engagement. Once consistent people become suddenly caught up in work - indefinitely. I'm sure the avoidance is nothing personal, but it just turns into an awkward dance around the big elephant in the room. Haha. It's okay, really! Really, REALLY! What are we gonna do with Dumbo, then?

This whole wedding planning thing sounds like a nightmare. The supposed most genuine decision in your life seems to get marred by friendship hierarchy, colliding social circles, and exploding dinner budgets? Let’s reassess.

I think if the time ever comes for me to write invite lists of my own, I'm going to make a few arbitrary cut-off criteria. The first one will be people who have gone on at least 100 Target runs with me. It's unassuming, it's time-tested, it's real. That's love :).