Comatose

It's another slow day at work today, mostly because my boss is fifteen time zones away and we catch each other barely. Most days we catch each other never. I feel like it's been 11am for hours. I found this old blog, which I apparently haven't revisited in over a year. It’s always interesting to look back at thoughts, how we may or may not have progressed. I still agree with a lot of things that I used to think, so either I’m a consistent person (mentally), or I’ve failed to progress and challenge myself.

I have many lost thoughts in cyberspace, I think. Facebook is a good channel for entertainment, but nobody really cares for inane ramblings like they used to in the days of Xanga. Our attention spans generally last as long as a hash tag and a picture. They say a picture’s worth a thousand words, but maybe this is also a result of us, well, growing up. Maybe we were idler and freer to explore and magnify our thoughts during the college years, when all our peers were hungry to digest new ideas, even if they were about nonsensical things like ice cream brand comparisons. The possibilities were endless.

I went to Berkeley.edu for some inspiration, to see what’s been going on at my alma mater. I guess it is commencement season, and fresh new graduates will be entering the work force with open minds and high hopes. Every year I loosely plan to attend the commencement ceremony for nothing more than the speakers, because who doesn’t need a little inspiration and humor? Those speeches are rejuvenating, though my plans easily clog with weekend brunches, out-of-towner visits, vacations, and a plethora of social obligations. Every now and then, life’s buzzing sounds crescendo into a deafening white noise.

Here’s the problem: in line with the proverbial grass always being greener on the other side, it has become immensely dangerous for someone like me, whose family and friends have always enabled me to, well, go see the other side. Because that’s exactly what I’ve done my whole life. But now, I think I’m kind of in a metaphoric comatose state. I’m physically functioning at full capacity, but I feel like my mind is often underutilized, possibly atrophying, and highly unconscious.

They all call this restlessness.